We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
