ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
