they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
