1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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