I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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