I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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