Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
