No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
