Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
