ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
