the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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