butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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