My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
