we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
