you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
