just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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