we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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