You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
