Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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