What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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