just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
