Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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