yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
