she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
