just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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