Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
