New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We need a shit load of segways right now
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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