I can text with my tongue
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
