She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
