My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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