tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
