It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
