you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
