they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
