Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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