Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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