Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
