I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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