It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
