He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize