Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
