Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
