and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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