He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
