just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
