Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
