It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
