office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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