I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
