I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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