My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
