at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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