Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
