i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
