You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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