spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
