Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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