When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
