There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize