If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize