There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
