I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
