I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love you.
Bad choice
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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