tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
