if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
