Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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