too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
