Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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