i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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