Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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