I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
