After last night, I could never be a politician.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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