Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I got chris browned last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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