Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
