haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
