either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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